It's a nice feeling to have and it is an amazing thing to see, inspiring even, but I often worry that I am hurting her in the same way that he hurt me...I try to eradicate him from my thoughts, I really do, but it is not easy and I feel like a terrible, inadequate person because I have not found the strength to accomplish it. Especially as it complicates certain aspects of my relationship with Darci, like sex, for example. There have been times where it is not her I think of and it is not her. He wasn't a sleeze like some men, and although, he did have a one track mind, he was a complete gentleman about it. We had to lean in to hear each other over the off key karoke. He kept telling me how good I smelled. That's when he asked if he could kiss me. Lordy, did that man take my breath away! His kisses were deep, passionate,wet and full of swirling tongue! He left me breathless and wanton, like a teenage girl with her first crush. I sat and wondered to myself, what is a hotie body like. They’re so filled with color.”Her only recourse was to pick up one of the tattered magazines as a response to the artlessness of his comment. Charlie had rarely seen paintings in a museum—or paintings anywhere for that matter—and continued his search for something wildly enlightening to say.“Do you paint yourself?” he asked finally. “No, I don’t.”“Do you draw pictures or take photographs?”“Nope,” she said.He became painfully aware that she really didn’t want to talk to him, and even though he. The place was surrounded by old, rusted, and broken materials from my past. It was a place I had recently locked up. Only under hypnosis was I able to reach this place.I remember the broken down TV that our parents used to change the channels with by pliers. The rusted stove we used to cook what little food we had. Our sheets were thrown down on the floor. These were bagged up and taken from a near by Motel 6 where my mother used to work hours upon hours sweeping and cleaning up other peoples.