There was more to tell about Paula, more for SIN' to hear. (And all of it to read as soon as she gets home tonight!)Red haired Paula (naturally flame ...ed on both ends) had generously screwed me to insensibility a half dozen times at least when the call came from a publisher of underground very hard-core porn magazines and books.The man was in a situation that needed a fast fix. A boy-girl set of graphic hard- core sex was to be shot. Another photographer had to back out of the assignment half. Painted white with dark green trim fairly recently, probably just before winter settled in.Autry had a big blue and white speckled coffeepot going and Emma took charge of keeping us refilled. Autry did the cooking himself — generous slices of salty ham fried in a large cast-iron skillet. He dumped a couple of dozen brown eggs into the sizzling fat from the ham and everything tasted as delicious as it smelled. He also added egg shells to the coffee pot, a new one on me.Emma acted as our hostess.. However, even with that, I suppressed everything. I poured my guts to my mom who always thought it was weird how I was with my boyfriends and she was so happy I had such a good night – but I couldn’t accept it. So, I didn’t… and continued hiding my feelings. The big turning point for me came about 3 weeks before my High School Formal. I had to stand in the mirror and look at myself and admit out loud that I was gay. For the FIRST time. I cried for what seemed like days. My mom is my best friend. Husband? No. Children? No. Job? Retired. When the publicist had called her up, after she'd been chosen, and asked, "Retired from what?," there had been no pause at all before Des's answer: "Working."The magazine editors were sure something juicy was hiding behind all those one-word answers. A term in prison, perhaps? That hard-bitten exterior would fit perfectly in "women in chains" movies, and the "Tank" producers' background checks might have missed a thing or two. A sex change? For a little.