I am in a constant dialectic of hating my thoughts and loving them. Pain and pleasure. La douleur exquise. I want more pain, more pleasure. I want to...give him every immeasurable psychological inch of me this time, no wavering, no drifting, no volition. The more I give, the less I will be lost. There will be nothing left to adulterate my self-awareness. As for my Master, his responsibility is great, onerous, less enviable. It reassures me but I worry for him because it is I he has taken on. I. Guess I kind of surprised you,didn't I?" More like scared the crap out of me. But thanks for being SOunderstanding. Uh, listen, I think I should be getting back to work --they're probably wondering if I'm okay."She smiled at me again, this time a big, sincere one. "Sure honey. I'llsee you later. But if you need anything at all, just let me know, I'dlove to help." With that, we parted company and I didn't run into heragain that night.Later, after we finished loading the Taylors' utility trailer,. The girl on the left wasn’t interested in talking to us and her group soon left. The other girl, Sarah (a strange nickname), decided to stay with us and have a drink. Christina was very casually standing next to her with her arm seemingly d****d around Sarah’s shoulder but in fact there was still a fistful of hair clenched in Christina’s fist and I could see that she occasionally increased the tension in the hair in her hand by closing her fingers. And then gently but firmly, and almost. The saturated cloth covered the openings in the pipe gag and a few seconds later meat slipped again into unconsciousness.Chapter 9When he awoke he was groggy, disoriented and shivering uncontrollably. His jaws ached from hours of being forced apart by the pipe gag. He found himself in a naked heap on the dirt floor of the barn. The spandex hood still covered his eyes. But, his arms and legs were no longer bound. His fingers were stiff with the cold, and he couldn’t feel his toes. He.