"We need a bloody gardener" I grumbled as I straightened up and rubbed my aching back, "This is bloody hard work"Jane closed the computer down and ann...unced that the company was in good shape,"We're making a lot of money Chris" she said and smiled up at me, "We can easily afford a gardener" Ok, phone the paper up and put an advert in for one, or better still ask Sean if he'd be interested in doing it between jobs" Hey, good idea" she agreed, "Lie down and let me give you a massage, it'll do. .Okay, you can do this, I told myself, thinking abouthow this was going to sound.The bartender was approaching. Tight top. Muscles bulging. Stop thinkingabout him like that. He's just a guy."What can I get you, Buddy?"He hadn't noticed the handbag. I put the purse on the bar, hoping hewould see my nails. Preparing him, for when I said: "Sex on the Beach,please."He did a double-take, then saw the nails. The purse."No problem, Sweetie."I breathed a sigh of relief and scanned the room as he. She asked, "Did what?" and I had to laugh, I knew what that sounded like! I couldn't think of a polite way to say it so I said, "My stuff came out." She thought it over and asked, "From your hot dog?" Where we grew up a softie was a weiner or a weenie and a hard-on was a hot dog, so she was asking if I had a boner. A pussy was a bun, where the hot dog went, and years later when I first heard the phrase "buns of steel" I couldn't imagine why anyone would want a metal cunt. I told her I needed to. Her file read well, 5’ 6”, toned, fair white skin, perky little B-cup tits, fit; but not anorexic skinny. Add the red hair, and you have one amazing combination. There is one factor however, that singles her out from the rest of her counterparts, this delightful deviant is a mutant. She has one eye that is green, and one that is blue. The complexity of this woman astounds me, and I have yet to even meet her. What she did to end up in prison only adds to my growing list of infatuations with this.