It's fucking depressing, but I've accepted it. Not that I can stand to use the knowledge, but... Oh, sorry. Yeah.I figured out that jerks aren't nice ...ecause they don't have to be. Nice is a sign of weakness. Girls aren't attracted to weakness, unless maybe it's one they think they can fix.Okay, that's is a really mean and hurtful thing to write, and I don't really believe it -- I couldn't be a nice guy if I did -- but dammit if for too many cases it doesn't line up. Hey, if you came here. I reached into my pocket and handed her a 50 dollar bill.I said for her to go get a good meal and a warm place to sleep. She nodded and put it in her imitation leather purse and walked away. I walked back into the hotel and returned to my room. I stripped off my trousers and crawled into bed. I again fell asleep almost instantly.The next morning I woke up around 8:00 and dressed in preparation for my commissioning ceremony.At the ceremony, they reviewed my records and I was finally commissioned. I got desires to charge myself, and I got desires to rest, and I got desires to cool down, so I knew what desires were. My makers were good at making me feel icky if I'm dirty, or tired if I worked my motors too hard for a few hours. But this was a different feeling of sorts — a desire for which I had no programming and no description.When I was done, I walked back into the master bedroom, and was heading back out to the kitchen to wash the things I'd used. As I passed at the foot of the bed, I. "I did as I was told. I was in a bit of a fog. I was now going beyondwhat I'd ever contemplated. Even if I'd worked up the courage to tellLilly the truth, the most I'd have hoped for was the occasional chanceto dress at home in front of her. But now I was looking at a future asa permanent sissy, and, worse, a cuckold. I thought about how I couldstop this rush into the future, but short of ruin, public shame anddivorce, I could not think of any avenue to a different outcome.Unfortunately I was.