More than I would like to admit.My biggest issue, and not surprising considering my age, was that I was probably going to die a virgin. I would lay aw...ke and question God into the middle of the night. Asking those same old self-pity questions. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Etc.It was a night about 3 months later that she came. Wrapped as I was in my cocoon of depression, I was not aware of her presence when she first arrived. Just a soft sound of feathers like a small bird taking wing. That belongs in some kind of B movie. In any other world but the one we live in, it would be ridiculous. But here? I just think, 'Isn't it sweet that Brian wants to spend time with his baby? I wonder if he'll want to spend that much time with ours.' I know. Of course you will!" Whitney? Ours? Our baby?" I choked."Oh, not now! Wait until I'm done playing basketball. A pregnancy would wreck me!" Okay. Well that's fair enough." That was the second time today that my voice had shifted octaves. I. As time wound down, strippers were actively avoiding the table, and even other customers were ducking away. Glasses were getting broken, drinks were getting spilled and the volume kept going up.In the back, my manager was happily stoned (normally, I like him for this exact reason--he really doesn't give half a shit. Dress codes, no touching rules, no drinking on the job rules-- all out the window when he's on). The bouncers were a little on edge, but sort of waiting on a signal that I didn't. "What happened here?" he asked the detective."Well Deputy Tate was stabbed at the door, then it looks like he was dragged to the chair. Other than that we know nothing. Seems this gentleman isn't talking." The detective said."What a cluster fuck," the deputy said."My thoughts exactly," Roger said."You shut the fuck up," the detective said."Back off, he is only following protocol," the deputy said. "We need to get him away from here, out a back door or something." You want to put a block bag.