I sobbed with frustration as I really wanted to feel the pleasure of an orgasm wash over me. At six thirty I eventually woke up enough to realise that...something had to be done about the state I was in. It was a Wednesday, and I had to go to work. I would be next to useless answering the phones in a support centre when the only thing on my mind was sex and pleasure. Before now, I have found myself in the ladies' toilets at work desperately frigging myself off while playing some dirty scene. At the time we married my daughter was already a freshman in high school, and Tom’s son Zack was nine. It was a rather uncomfortable fit from the beginning, because even though Tom and I love each other very much, as a career Navy man he was prone to be off on sea duty for several months at a time. Zack’s mom had died of cancer when he was just a baby. For a time Zack would stay with his grandmother while Tom was away, but as he grew older he preferred to stay at home so he could be closer. Taking care of my angel was far more important to me than paper documents or work. Since my wife's passing, I became a tragic wreck. I was forced out of my old job, because I couldnt show up to work from being so brought down and depressed. I stopped eating, stopped doing really anything until my daughter came back from her grandparents house one evening. She went to visit them in the summer; my wife died while she was gone. My parents already explained how "Mommy drank too much apple juice one. Ihad the pill bottles in my suitcase and in a way they were calling to me.Add to that Mom wanted to get up early and we were in the line waitingfor the stores to open at 6AM for all the bargains. Yes it was fun and Idid get some of my Christmas shopping done. Maybe it didn't help solvingmy dilemma but it did take my mind off it for a bit. We got home by midafternoon and to be honest I took a little nap then. I was up beforedinner, leftovers of course, and we were doing the dishes when Mom took.