‘Here?’ he tried cautiously. ‘What here in this house?’ she asked her eyes wide. ‘No, no of course not,’ he hastily rethought it. ‘But�...� I do have a little cottage, just inside the grounds…’ he said slowly, slanting a quick look to see her response. ‘Furniture?’ she asked, thinking. ‘Furnished,’ he smirked. ‘I’d have to pay you rent,’ she told him firmly. ‘Of course… but I think that you should, not start to pay that, until the end of the second month. Just to give you time to see if you can. I'm a dancer. My real name is Sarah." It's a sincere pleasure to meet you Sarah," I said in a voice as non-patronizing as I could manage. "Where do you live?"She squinted and shook her head, "In the ... on the ... river ... drive" On the River Drive?"She nodded."Banana River Drive?"She was headed for the record books. Her head lolled back and to the right with her chin jutting upward. She stared at me with both lazy eyes and gave a nod."Cross," she slurred.The way she said that, it reminded me. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my. ’ I lied, ‘Just thought you’d appreciate a bit of privacy at least.’ ‘Very gentlemanly of you, I’m sure. Can you wipe me now, please?’ Um. Erk. I took a few squares of toilet paper from the roll and hesitated. ‘How do I, um…?’ I squeaked. ‘I haven’t… er, that is… I haven’t exactly done this before.’ ‘Oh, just back to front, not too firm.’ she instructed me. I swallowed my incipient panic and did my best to follow instructions, even while trying desperately not to touch her labia. This really.