When my father wakes up again I get up from a chair I had brought in and look at him. I think of Sandra and mom who are in the other room, they should...’t see this, not because I think he should die but I will feel bad about it but I don’t want to expose them not yet, Sandra’s too young and my mom doesn’t have to see her husband die gruesomely. “Now dad, don’t think this is because of some reason in the past, this is solely for my entertainment and because you don’t fit In my idea of a nice. He lived on a ranch all of his life, until his parents died a couple of years ago. Since then he has worked on building a railroad and he trapped one winter in Vermont."How do you feel about free Negroes?" I asked him."Well, I haven't thought about them much at all. I don't believe in slavery, so I guess I believe in them being free. I just haven't ever been around any of them." Well, you're going to have to get used to it if you come with us," Cassie said. "Ed lied to you about me being his. I’m just curious about why it wasn’t with someone you’ve been dating for a while.”She squirmed a little, the question being fairly personal. “Well, at first, I thought you two were from out of town so we’d do it and then you’d go home. I’d be the adventure you had on vacation and you’d never forget it and you’d be my first time. You were both young and hot and WILD. Answering the door naked like that?! I could never have done that!”Jessie answered that one. “I feel safe with Matt,” she said,. Not that she stopped loving him—as Chaun had reminded me. What if she got her memories back somehow? Kevin was after us, bent on saving Angela from execution out of love, and willing to sacrifice the rest of us to do it.What if he restored her memories and she didn’t need me any longer? Yes, she said she loved me and not him, but what if she only loved me because I was here? Convenient? I was better than nothing, filling whatever hole in her heart forgetting Kevin had left. What if I was a seal.