”✧ ✧ ✧Say thanks to mixerman478 ‎What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?A tearjerker.✧ ✧ ✧How did Burger King get...Dairy Queen pregnant?He forgot to wrap his Whopper.✧ ✧ ✧I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay.She said she didn’t have time.✧ ✧ ✧Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?They couldn’t close his casket.✧ ✧ ✧Say what you want about pedophiles... But at least they drive slow through the school zones. ✧ ✧ ✧What’s worse than waking up. Finally brushing her hair and reapplying lipstick, shedrove off towards home feeling relaxed, wonderful and completelyfeminine.Expect the unexpectedFeeling very happy with her first evening's activities, Sophie drovegently along the country roads, avoiding the motorway network on herway back toward London. Noticing some car headlights in her rear-viewmirror, she realised that the car was travelling very fast and it soonovertook her, zooming past on a narrow bend. A few minutes later,coming. Jackwas surprise to see the same girl from boutique phone was a stewardesson their flight. She looked lovely in her navy uniform, hose and heels."Hi there," Sarah the Stewardess said after the plane took off and shekicked off he hated heels. She smiled at Jack. "I remember you from themall yesterday. From the look on your face then you must hate heels asmuch as I do, dear. The price we make to get a husband." You got a good one dear." Jack asked as Sarah giggled at a joke thatJack didn't. My wife guffawed - a single solitary, "Ha!" She looked at me and held it up, "It's heavy." Then she looked at Robert, "Um ... wow!" She was surprised and amused, flushed red right down to her chest.Robert was leaning forward in his chair, "Happy birthday. There's a tub of lube in there too."My wife looked at the plug, "Um..." She looked at me and then back to Robert."Jeezus Robert," I said, "They didn't have a bigger one?" I was joking, but Robert missed it."Oh yeah," He said seriously, "They.