"One of the Naturals scowled at 44, not knowing what she had said, butjust annoyed that she was looking at her."Over there," 44 continued onto the nex... table, "are the operatives thatgot to stay as men. They modestly refer to themselves as the 'Studs' orthe 'Alphas'. The fact that they got to keep their penises and youdidn't makes them think they're so much more manly than you are. It's apretty fat boy attitude considering how gay they are. Ninety percent oftheir dates they wind up with a cock. Often I would Think back to my nights in the gay bars when I was younger and wonder about the missed opportunities to sleep with a man. When I would masturbate or make love with my wife the fantasy of me dressed as a woman with a man seemed to take over. Afraid to talk to my wife about it I would just push it to the back on my mind hoping that it would fade away. For some reason when I turned 30 it hit me like a brick wall. I was getting older and it was time for me to make a decision if I was. I said, “Don’t worry mom you will pay for this shortly.” I walked out of the room to fix our drinks. I heard her saying mother fucker and the sound of the lighter. After filling our glasses I came back to the room.I saw that she had her cigarette on her right hand and she was also rubbing her pussy with her left hand. When I saw this my dick was standing in attention and she noticed this. I walked towards her and passed the glass before she gave the cigarette to me, she took a puff and blew. Compared to being a civilian RN, this was something quite different. I was busy, which I really liked, but I didn't have time for any kind of personal life.Nor did the reality of the battlefield change this for me. I was harried, hustling from one wounded soldier to another. The number of combatants greatly outweighed the noncombatant personnel, which was not surprising. This was a civil war, after all. The furious and desperate zeal of the Robertsonites made it far worse than it might have.