"Fine," I said. "Busy."That was a lie. But I didn't know what to say. I could see his erection through his pants. And that was turning me on."Right, w...at with selling the parlor and all." Franchising the parlor. It's going to be a big operation, you know." So you won't have time for me anymore?" He crossed the kitchen and stood next to me.I knew he was joking. And yet... I laughed and pushed him away. "You're just worried I won't give you your happy endings anymore."I was supposed to be fucking. I'd do anything for that chance ... but I can't help you becauseI'm... I'm not a little girl ...at least not in body and I can't be yourStephanie." "You could be," Steve answered as Debra pulled her friend in for a hug."You could be our Stephanie. That is if you really want it. All you'dhave to do is say yes and step through that scanner when we tell youto." Julie," Debra's soft voice cooed, "I love you, both the big girl andthe little, and I know I'm asking a lot of you. I guess you could. I should be tired. I was tired. My body was ready to go to sleep but my brain wasn’t. Or maybe it was the other way around and my brain was ready to go to sleep but my body wasn’t.Whichever way it was, I couldn’t get to sleep. I lay on my back and looked up into the darkness. I rolled onto my side. I curled up into a ball. I rolled onto my stomach and buried my face in the pillow. I turned over and lay on my back and stared up into the darkness. I lay on my other side. I squished my pillow up a. . . . .At 9:30 pm I was back in my apartment. I flicked on the lights, put mybag on my desk and slipped off one, then the other, of my heels. I had anintense purpose to what I was to do tonight. I poured a drink and satdown at my computer still in my low cut black dress. It felt so primal.Somehow, I had the presence of mind to realize that it should documented."There is something I want to do," I said to the camera. I talked aboutthe past few hours I'd spent walking the city. I talked.