He seems to constantly be aware of everything around him. It’s kind of like the foundation that provides his ability to function. Heck, I think it j...st keeps him sane. I’ve seen something similar in combat veterans – hyper-vigilance. The shrinks claim it’s a form of PTSD – I’m not sure I agree but they know more than I do. I think he’s been this way for a long time. I’m not sure he ever got over his father’s death or his stepmother’s leaving with his stepsisters. It added up – but he was. Thankfully he did not look at me and then took out some handkerchieves, and the spare sari, blouse and the petticoat that I had brought. Finally he took out one last item, my white panty, and put that on bed too. Sanjeev: Okay Madam, so I will take your extra sari, blouse, and petticoat and keep that in office as you are not allowed to wear outside clothing. I will give you the ashram sari, blouse, and petticoat when you will go for 'diksha' and also a nightdress for sleeping. Also I am taking. Mum just smiled.We got to the department store in town and went to the Ladies section. Iwould not normally go near the Ladies section because I was afraid peoplewould think I was a transvestite but now I was dressed like a girl Isashayed confidently over with Mum and my sister. It was funny howbecoming what I feared becoming, a boy in women's clothes, I was no longerafraid of being seen in the Ladies section of the store. We met with abeautiful blonde lady shop assistant in the dress. Oh how I long to run my fingers through your hair, my love. To feel your fingers caress my cheek. This waiting I cannot abide. Still another 6 hours to go. Be patient my sweet. My heart is pounding, my skin covered with goosebumps, my crotch is aching for your gentle touch. I hear a knock at the door. My heart races, my palms sweaty. I get up from where I was sitting impatiently, secure the towel around me. Will I or won’t I answer the door. I am scared, the butterflies creating havoc deep in.