Not with Winston. Not with Brad. None of it was stable. But I, who had once been celebrated for decisiveness and initiative, had no desire, no intenti...n, no will to make a change. I did not even know what change I wanted. Which was real: the person I had seemed to be all my life, who excelled at school and work, or the person I was with Brad? The only indicator was that I remained passive. One evening though, half hysterically, I did confront Brad. We were in his suite at the Meridian in. Nothing about sex-ed classes. He wondered if any of them even knew about that ... or was it going to be a total surprise?As they sat around a table in the dining hall snacking on apples, oranges, bananas, granola bars and half-pint cartons of milk, Kenny had each one of them introduce himself and say a little something about the kinds of things they liked to do. He hoped it might break some ice and give him a little insight into who he was dealing with.Jackson, naturally gregarious, was the. As we undressed, he touched me all over, rubbing my pussy and my breasts. He asked if he could "look at my pussy" and I said yes. He lay me on the floor and pushed my legs open. I felt like I was on fire to feel his big hands on me. He gently took his thumbs and opened my pussy as wide as he could, looking inside of me and then with a shock I felt his mouth on my pussy. He licked me inside and out and it felt like nothing I had ever felt before. I was soaking wet. He then stuck his tongue. I get pulled out of retirement every couple of months to carry a special load somewhere." Ever been to Somalia?" I asked."No, and I'm not looking forward to it this time either. It's a nasty dangerous place," he said."Well it's my job to be sure you are safe, so we should try to work together." I suggested."Sweetie, I'm almost seventy years old. You don't need to bullshit me. I heard a rumor on the dock that you were running guns. I don't care, but I do want it known that I am not going to die.