At the same time I saw her hands move down to her pussy. I could just see her hands rubbing in between her legs, just at the top of where the window...ledge started. God what a view! I knew it was wrong but I just couldn’t help myself. As she washed I imagined that I was stood in front of her, watching her fingers move in and out of her hole. I moved the vibrator in and out slowly, rubbing the vibrating tip against my swollen clit. I could see myself moving towards her wet, naked. After a few hours of internet surfing, I decided to move downstairs to the living room and throw a porno of mine in the DVD player. Grabbing one at random from my room, I made my way downstairs in just my jockey's for a good jerk off session. It wasn't until I pushed play on the remote, that I realized I had grabbed my one guy on guy DVD. It didn't matter to me, I just planted my ass on the couch, and got ready to jerk my meet while watching guys suck and fuck other guys.I was only about half. She took her foot away after a few minutes and told me to undress. My nerves had disappeared at this point, and I quickly removed all my clothing leaving it in an untidy heap by the bed. I sat at the side of the bed and she stood before me. She slid her hand along her crotch. "If I have dressed sexy for you then you should return the favour," she said. I was unsure what she meant but agreed, as I wanted her so much. I have only ever slept with one girl before and that was a dark clumsy. Then I wake up, crying.I dont know what to do about this.I dont know who I can talk to.I know dreams aren't real, but it comes from somewhere, but where?And its not just the dream. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, andI look .... wrong, somehow. I look and I half-expect to see the girl frommy dream looking back at me.And the fact she doesn't is a grief I cant even begin to describe ....I've got to pull myself together, shake this off somehow.I wish I had someone to talk to about this,.