“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,...whose acreage borders North Dakota. “He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed. I made a few more adjustments since the tiny bit of material just barely covered my half inch nipples and silver dollar areolas. I strutted out into the back yard and plopped down on a sun chair next to Emily.“You’re looking hot as ever babe, even if you are 32.” Emily told me as she eyed my 5'7 , 115 lbs. body up and down.“Thanks hun, you too.” I replied with a wink and a smile.“Now let’s get you oiled up.” Emily said as she poured the slippery liquid into her hands.I turned over on my stomach. Chubby. But definitely not model material. My mum wanted me togo on diets. She pushed me all the time but I was quite happy. And Icouldn't be bothered to go to all that effort to lose weight."Anna said, "How did your aunt come into it?" She was fat. Very fat. Enormous. I used to walk with her down the streetand listen to the kids making nasty comments about her she couldn't hear.I watched her growing old lonely because she couldn't get a man she was soobese. And then she died of a heart. I hear Jack and Arnie, my other two mechanics, quickly stop what they’re doing and wash up in the heavy duty sink in the back of the 3-bay garage. I take my time, knowing I need to brace myself for the fire that will flow through my bloodstream as soon as I enter the office where Alyssa will have my take out order spread out on my desk for me. I hate myself for the reaction to her but it’s inevitable. The reason I hate is because we’re coming up on twenty years of friendship, Alyssa and I, and.