I pull no punches or whitewash over any event in my life as I write.For I write the only way I know and that is from my heart. The emotions I feel whe... I write I try to have you experience as well. I do this not because I want you to feel my anguish, the pain, the hurt someone or I face in my story. I do it because you must experience it in order to understand it. In doing so, you may find that you even understand yourself a little better. I look in my mirror every day and I see myself. Whom do. I fretted and checked there were no sprouting lip hairs in the mirror and worried.Am I still a woman?Compounding my doubts, was hubby's declining libido, from twice a week to once or less, his saddle lacking its firm horn. Uninterested in foreplay, it switched from booty to duty call. He surreptitiously viewed porn to prep himself for his duty.Can I blame him? Who wants an old woman?On the plus side, my face expressed fewer wrinkles than the calendar said it should. I didn’t wrinkle up as Mom. I wondered what it was about the Great Salt Basin that drew them like bees to honey and I wanted to see what they’d accomplished in the last two years.I had made sure to check with everyone in our group before deciding to go to Great Salt Lake City and got smug grins from most in return--as if they’d known all along that I’d visit. When we made the last turn to the west on the trail coming down out of the Wasatch Mountains, I saw hundreds of homes spread out across the part of the valley below. I was 20 yrs at that time. Normally I used to come home at weekend means coming home on Friday evening after attending my classes and leave from my home on Monday early morning for my college which was approximately 100 km away from my home. During my stay in hostel of the college I was famous for the best pornographic material available with me which normally are the magazines like Fantasy, Debonair and Playboy etc. I used to fantasize a lot about young ladies but unfortunately I could not get.