I am ashamed of what I havedone. Over time, for the most part, I have learned to dissipate thatanger and start to love. Since I?ve been on HRT that an...er has beenreduced dramatically. Even now in my anger I try to admonish instead oflashing out either physically or verbally.The result of my fear and anger was me being a lonely boy. My parentssaw that and thought after consulting with others that seeing apsychiatrist might help. I couldn?t tell this grown up anything so in asense I wasted their. .I uhh need to use the bathroom Ill be back in a minute. I pussed out. I couldnt ask him, I just couldnt. I couldnt see his face when he rejected me, the digust on his face. Today, I probably did the most cheesy and cliche thing ever… I pulled out my phone and started texting. I couldnt ask you this out there.. I was, and still am super nervous, but I just wanted know if.. ya wanted to maybe go out? I hit send and tried to buy a little time before going out and facing him. I rinsed my face. I fixed us each a glass of wine and we talked about what was going to happen. After we relaxed, I got up, took the bag and went to prepare the soapy water for her special treat. I had done this so many times before, to myself, to other lovers, so this was not new to me. I hung the bag from a hook on the closet door and called her in. I was really getting turned on watching her remove her clothing. I put a towel on the bed and asked her to get on her hands and knees on the towel. When she was in. I won't let you down!" Friends, we have reached a serious point in our relationship with Master Chin. He has threatened to have me killed if I cannot eliminate that marshal in Sacramento, and I believe his threat. We are caught between two opposing forces and we cannot escape both."We must choose which one to fight. Master Chin made a serious mistake when he chose to expand the Ying Chu operations out of San Francisco. We have done well here and there is really no need to expand. I believe that.