I made my way to the Range Rover before I could change my mind about going out beyond the confines of the apartment complex. The Rover was covered wit... a dusty car cover as the last time I drove it was six weeks ago. I grabbed one of the corners of the elastic edge and with a snap of my wrist and arm it was off, sending a dust cloud into the air that was illuminated by the flickering florescent lights of the cement underground garage. I rolled the car cover up and threw it in the back seat as I. "Yeah, why not," he replied. We move off the dance floor and on to the landing. He offers me a cigarette and we both light up. While we puff, I move back into his arms and hold him, my hips gently swaying to the distant music. I stood on tiptoe and kissed him, he kisses me back, but without any passion. I persist and he pushed me away."Please Sue," he said, we can't do this, it's not right." Fuck the man, here I am, offering myself on a plate and he has to be noble. It's part of the reason I. “Shit!”I pinched myself again.Again, I squirted more brown liquid.I grabbed a cup from the water dispenser and squeezed my boob liquid into it. It somehow lessened the ache and when I brought it to my face, to sniff it, I thought it smelled like… pumpkin spice.But that couldn’t be.I sipped a bit.Then a bit more.No way.It tasted just like a pumpkin spice latte.I had to sit down.I replayed in my mind the earlier encounter. I clearly recalled my feelings of dread and the chills that went through. But it was my playground. Other kids played ball, I ran the river. Now, that little ‘hick’ town and the area around it was just what I needed. The death of my family left me adrift and I needed to reconnect with who I was and where I came from. I could do that in Van Buren and the surrounding area. It’s was full of wonderful memories of when I was growing up. I spent the night at Smalley’s Motel. The motel had been there longer than I have been alive. It wasn’t fancy, no internet, no cable.