And then reality beats me back down to the ground. So many lonely, heart breaking drives home alone in the wee hours of the morning. Tasting you on my...lips and knowing you are not mine. Cannot ever completely be mine.I fight the feelings of loneliness in my own head. I bottle them and wait for them to set me on fire from the inside. Sometimes I unleash them onto you. usually as I sit, sleepless and desperate in a parking lot. I pour my feelings out to you. knowing you have no answers. Just. Mike tried tried to hide Sandra's blunder on her behalf and defended her. "She's not normally like this, it's the drink." Sandy however had perked up, impressed by his open reply, her inhibitions obliterated by the drink. "This is my husband Mike, I salvaged him from a homosexual relationship I will have you know." She hiccupped as she pointed to him.If Mike was embarrased he did not show it. "Part of growing up, experimenting with sex with a very close friend," he replied.This 'close' friend. My butt was very red and I had severalnoticeable welts that i was sure would transform into bruises overthe next few days. The sight reminded me of the satisfaction I hadheard in her voice. Was she really that pleased that she had hurtme? Or was she simply trying to make a point and she was pleased tohave made it. After dinner that night as we put the kids to bed I noticedJennifer seemed very odd. She had been so confident and selfassured all day, but now she seemed lost. She was curt with me. Then I took a few moments to savour the perfection of the stripes on the neatly cut lawn; another good job. On a summer's evening like this, it was almost a pleasure to mow the grass before our evening meal.I trundled the barrow through the gap in the yew hedge and into the vegetable garden. Laura had insisted on planting an evergreen hedge between the 'entertaining' and 'productive' parts of our garden; I hadn't objected because the slightly warmer microclimate within the shelter of the hedge.