I feel very soft and vulnerable next to this strange man. He looks downand his hand comes up to hold me under the chin. I feel the thin leatheragainst...my skin and a shiver of anticipation passes through me. It reallydoes seem very different to usual - for a moment I am lost in thedistorted reflection of an unsure, but highly excited, Jemima in thesilver shades - all trembling big lashes and luscious pink lips.He reaches down behind me and finishes tying my wrists properly. I testthem and feel. Mark pulls out of his wife and wipes himself up quickly, he plants a kiss on his wife’s head and rushes to the phone. ‘Tina … How are you?’ He almost whispers. He takes the phone to his wife and signals that he’s going to take a shower. I can’t believe I just fucked my wife while thinking about her s****r he thinks to himself while lathering himself with shower gel. ‘Mark, my s****r’s going to come over in about half an hour, so you can go to pub.’ She smiles at him in his bath towel before. But I assured her that I had a decent handle on my emotions this time. After all, I was in Atherton talking to her and not in my house wallowing in misogynistic fantasy.In the end, I didn't even return to Berkeley that night. Well after the Steelers beat the Seahawks, I remained in the Atherton house with my friends chatting the night away. Uncle Frank was the one who suggested I stay the night, in part because I'd consumed quite a few beers and other drinks since 2pm. Although my last cocktail. I was watching Toby and Helena as Walt spoke. Toby acted sexually aroused and I wondered what the hell was going on. At the end of Walt's tale, Helena, for a second, looked at me directly for the first time. It was the expression a prisoner gives the hangman, or, was it something more?"Well?" Walt asked. There was a long silence."I can do this," Helena said very softly as if trying to convince herself rather than communicate to us. I hoped she could do it because the fantasy of her being with.