While I was there the resident physician spoke to me about seeing someone about how I felt. When I was discharged a few days later he gave me the num...er to a woman he thought could help me and I went to see her the following day. After talking about general topics she asked me to start a diary about my sister. Every day I would write down a memory, good or bad. At first, it was very difficult for me, I cried a lot and again my husband became worried, but I kept at it and after a week I felt. Even when I am in Evan mode, I catch myself using my well-practicedhigher octave feminine voice and my hand and arm movements are equallyfeminine.My European co-workers must believe I am gay. I believe I amtransgendered. My dressing went past crossdressing a long time ago.Following taking some deep breathes, which is hindered by my waistcincher, I ask my wife if I should bother coming home. I have visionsof her posting my pictures all over the internet. Peggy tells me, "Yes,come home. I am. I had unbuttoned the back of her thin yellow sundress and slipped it over her shoulders and turned her around where she was facing one of the tree's and had her put her hands up high against it.At the same time I pulled her panties down to her ankles and she stepped out of both!I had this incredible hard on for some time in anticipation of this event! She almost never wore a bra or slip when we parked and was standing there totally naked with her hands against the tree when I stuck it to her,. Suddenly his hands stopped and then I felt them move away from my thighs. I felt even worse. I thought he had stopped because of my erection. I wondered what he was going to do about this situation. My eyes were still closed when suddenly I felt a warm sensation in my crotch. I opened my eyes to see that he was dripping warm oil on and around my dick. When he saw that I was looking at him, he smiled again and said, almost like a rhetorical question, “I massage your penis, yes. Full.