The people I love die. Or go away. They never last.” Silmaria sat, hands folded in her lap. She felt like a little girl again, with Master Edwin. Du...ping the contents of her head and her heart out to let someone wiser shift through the pile and make some sense of the senseless jumble. Would that she had tried to let Rael do so before now, when he couldn’t shift through anything. “I’m so very afraid of being alone,” Silmaria went on, her voice soft, too soft to be heard, but he probably couldn’t. The up- curving shaft stuck lewdly from his fly; the hot bulb bobbed an inch or two from the steering wheel's horn button. It made my jaws ache just to look at that thing."Can I touch it?" I asked in the husky tones of Annette."Wow, sure, Pol!" he exclaimed, kind of scooting over closer to me.I reached out and took it in my hand. The bozo shut his pig eyes and clenched his teeth. "It's so hot!" I squealed in delight, giving it a quick flip through my fist."Ooh, God!" Harold moaned, unable to. I was convinced that either the police would come to arrest me, or Dave would show up with a gun and shoot me. I resigned myself to whatever I had coming my way.I avoided going near the window, I avoided going out into the garden, even though there was still the clear-up from the BBQ to do. I flicked on the tv, but I couldn’t concentrate to watch it.Sunday turned into Monday, which turned into Tuesday and then Wednesday. I hadn’t even shaved and ate so little. I still felt nauseous inside. By. Color flooded her cheeks as she recalled how she had practically begged him to not stop. Shame spread through her limbs as she once again felt desire for him building. Desire to have him hold her, kiss her, touch her. Shaking her head, she once again promised herself that she would not behave so disgracefully again. She stood quickly and resolutely tied off the laces of her gown. Glancing down she wished the neckline was bit higher. Normally she wouldn’t give it a second thought as the low.