I wanted to killmyself so often, I had nothing to live for, except being alive is betterthan being dead." Ryan said, anger rising. "I was then raped, ...nd foundout that Mom had cancer shortly after that! Literally nothing but badnews at every turn. And you know where I work. I love my job and thepeople I work with, but is it the millions you make? The millions that Ishould be making?" Ryan..." Tyler moved to hug Ryan's small body. "I'm so sorry. I wouldtake it all back if I could! Knowing you. I’ll have a look when you are doing the bar after dinner." That then became the pattern with every class. Ann would do the preliminary viewing whilst I served at the bar after dinner, and if there was anything special, she would hold that tape back till I joined her after the closing of the bar. The one disadvantage in the old school to my mind, was that they were all fixed when on remote. If they had been manned, then you could zoom in or traverse the camera for specific and close up views of. Why would you even want to know?”Him: “I don’t know. It was just a passing thought. Some silly male curiosity, I guess. Men do wonder about such things, in case you didn’t know. I realize it’s all in the past, like yesterday’s meal, but history is a fact. I love you for who you are, but who you are is also what you’ve done. Does that make sense?”Her: “Yes, I can see that. I don’t mind telling you, but for that many years it’s hard to remember with a lot of details. Many were like an average. I planned to follow up with her. One of the last ones that I got shocked me but gave me an instant hard on and put a smile on my face. The woman was mid 40s. She lived about 30 miles away. It was the nastiest email of any of them. She said that her husband was a looser in bed and that they hardly ever fucked and when they did it was awfully boring. She said that she really enjoyed being fucked by young guys with hard cocks that could keep up with her and fill all three of her holes with loads.