A thought came to me, how I could tell just what was going on here between us. Though if she denied me - my larger plan could be ruined or at least se... back weeks until I regained her trust. Then again she may not deny me!I gently set mothers feet on the floor to either side of my lap and knelt upon my knees. She did not move though I suddenly froze with my hands nearly to their objective. Taking a deep breath and looking at mothers closed eyes and small smile, I regained some measure of inner. People held hands, discussing plans, laughing about nothing, and there was a weight to it. I felt like I could almost touch their happiness. And you couldn’t just buy it. You couldn’t walk into a store and order it and have it gift wrapped and delivered with a bow. I felt left out, in the stark, dark loneliness, condemned to be a witness and not a participant. And perhaps it was my own fault. I always found faults in the men who showed interest in me. Works too hard. Doesn’t work enough. Too. I wasn’t the one who was assigned calculus for math. I figured you could help me with my algebra.” I looked at her for a moment. I sighed, “Sure. I’ll help you.” And followed her into her house and up to her bedroom. I was shocked when I entered her bedroom to see most of her little girl posters that were on her wall were now replaced with different rock bands. Her bed no longer had Winnie the Pooh bed sheets, it now had a simple blue comforter on it. Everything in her room had changed. Ann had no idea what this meant, other than it made her happy and let her imagine that her prayers had been answered. Ann didn’t park the Mercedes in her driveway when she got home, she parked on the street in front of the neighbor’s house. Then she approached the house quietly and from the side, using the back entrance into the laundry room off the kitchen. She was bearing Christmas gifts for Ellen and didn’t want to be seen or heard before she was able to tuck them away in the cabinets over.