”“She was not suitable Geoffrey, just choose a suitable girl and settle down,” she reiterated.“And what about love?” I queried, “Has love ...o place in your world?“Good lord no,” she sighed, “Love is the thing of novels and fantasists, a large estate, that is what young ladies desire Geoffrey, not, thank god, your sparkling personality.“So it would please you if I chose any one of those young ladies would it?” I queried, “If I played blind mans bluff and merely plucked one at random.”“Now you are. Silently tears rolled down my cheeks. The lady next to me handed me a clean handkerchief. No one said a word. I found acceptance and I found forgiveness, I knew Christ had forgiven me, I just had to forgive myself. That night I was able to do that. After the service was over, I went out to the car and drove home to the Surprise.I thought about Al and his remission from the Cancer, he didn't think it was permanent, but at least it had given him some time to be with Janey and Amy. I said a prayer. The two inhabitants greeted her with a smile and a jokingly military: "Altman and Ericson present, Ma'am!" At east, men!" she replied grinning. The boys grinned back. This wasn't halfway as awkward as she had fear it would be. The other rooms presented no problems either. When she made for the last room, David Gryffith, Rick Morris's roommate came towards her. He pointed towards the bathroom and she nodded, passing him. At the door, she knocked and announced herself, just like she had done at. Now I'm a pariah. People look at my dark makeup, my usually black clothing, and see some kind of goth nymphet satan's lover, while I'm more a shy virgin who listens to Avril Lavigne and is taking her time starting to enjoy rock and metal music, learning about it through the internet... I just wanted to have some personality, to fit in some group, waiting for someone who was caring enough to understand me and discover that I'm a nice person inside, I just can't leave my shelter... But in that.