We are all drifting apart from each other, and I am not sure of the reasons for this drifting. My depression is becoming severe. Karen has changed so ...ramatically that I’m not exactly sure who she is anymore. I try to tell my friends about her, but they do not believe she is a well-known actress. In fact, everyone is telling me the opposite. My mind is playing games within this cramped environment. My rational mind of bitter, teeth-clenched reality is slowly passing into fantasy. I see people. ?? I took a fewpictures of them and they drove off.? Iwalked back into an empty house. ???? The first daypassed as normal, I did a few chores around the house and played some games onmy computer.? After supper, feelingbored, I went into an Adult chat room.?Since I have an active imagination and a latent desire to be submissive,I signed in as Asubmissivemale@.? Having nothing else to do, I watched theconversations occurring in the main room.?After an hour or so of this, I got a private message. .i would of preferred flats (lots of dancing to be done!!) but oh no.....i was told to wear 5 inch heel lace up school shoes along with white ankle socks!the night of the party came and i was told to dress in my uniform, i stood at the foot of the bed naked while he dressed me, brushed my hair, slapped me hard on the arse and called me a dirty bitch........so here i was looking in front of the hallway mirror admiring my uniform when he forced hes hand up my skirt and ripped down my knickers to. My friend, whose birthday it was, wasn't so sure about the idea, and suggested I should go as a soldier instead, because apparently there was a soldier in at least one of their music videos. Alright, so I went out to an army surplus store and got the whole outfit together: trousers, shirt, beret, dog-tags, etc. Some green smudges on my face and a toy machine gun perfected the look.The day arrived, and eventually the party was in full swing, and apart from one or two people, I had previously.