And I wasn’t feeling guilty for being pulled to her with sex I didn’t even understand.She had hay chaff stuck to her here and there and I noted pa...ches of something dirty, a condition that didn’t seem to bother her at all. She was of course amazing looking to my eyes. And her demeanor seemed to encourage me to look her over, the oddest feeling of encouragement seemed to give me courage like I was supposed to study her in detail, like I somehow already kind of owned a friendship. She wanted me. The defiled young housewife clenched her eyes tightly shut and helplessly remembered it all as though she were watching a movie recording the degradation she had just been subjected to -- the beginning when she had heard the tape of her husband Tommy and his best friend's wife Grace; that first moment when it became clear what Fred Furness had in mind for her, followed by her helpless fear and humiliation when he had dropped his head down between her legs; and then, finally, the wild twisting. The pitch that had smacked me in the face had brought back the fear.The next pitch was fat, with nothing on it. It came in waist-high and ripe for the picking.It went right by me for a called strike, and I had not so much as thought about swinging at it. I called time and took several steps toward our dugout. Warren came out to meet me."Paul, I can't see the ball. Take me out."Actually, I could see the goddamned ball just fine; I just couldn't react to it.Warren didn't ask me whether I was. .plus she was a very hard read.We shared numerous conversations over many subjects, how we both had been hurt, our aspirations, etc., etc.... All the good normal conversation you want to have with an individual that enables you to learn what it is that makes them tick. Yet, when it came to sex she was open, yet guarded.She didn't like how her body, she had all these self image issues, and yet she was a stunning voluptuous bbw. She even once to me she did not like the term BBW. In her mind the.