She always believed in the goodness of everyone. Always stubborn to go to the hospital. Always there for her family. She is and has always been the co...ner stone that holds the family together. Along side her my grandfather backing her up. Sure they fault, but what couple doesn't fight at 70 year's of marriage. This just put me in an even deeper depression. I knew I should help her, but I couldn't. I had nothing to offer her. I had nothing to show her. Plus how could I help her when I couldn't. She held the line in front of me.“You’re turn,” she remarked, pushing the lime towards my mouth.I opened my mouth as she placed the lime to my lips and I bit down on it.“Suck it,” she gleefully remarked, holding the lime in place as I bit down on it.The remaining juice in the line slice filled my mouth with a pungent taste. She laughed as she withdrew the slice and sat it on a bar napkin.She grabbed a salt shaker and told me to hold out my hand. I did and she dumped the salt in my hand.“This. Forty seventh ThursdayAlmost done, if I stretch my day today I should be able to start my journey out from this hole tomorrow early, not one day too soon.Forty-seventh SundayI have not written anything in few days as I have tried to come to grips with what happened to me. Hopefully this writing will help me formulate my thoughts.I was doing last few measurements late last night when suddenly I felt compelled to look away from my instruments and stare at a strangely captivating face. It was a. Perhaps my revulsion to shit had something to do with it.I was proud of myself when the nightmares didn't return after I started a careful regimen, and to top it off, my son seemed to be circulating with girls his own age.If this continued, maybe I'd ask Raymond to spend his next free time out here, with me.Meanwhile, with no sex for weeks, I had to admit I was getting horny, but encouraging Nickie was out of the question, not even on the sly.I was masturbating regularly now, and perhaps Nick.