Ich habe mein Leben veraendert. Heute ist es mir unerklaerlich, wie ich damals den Mut dafuer habe aufbringen koennen. Meine Therapeutin sagte mal, me...n innerer Schmerz waere zu jener Zeit so gross gewesen, dass ich dadurch die Angst vor diesem zu erwartenden koerperlichen Schmerz nicht mehr als beaengstigend empfunden haette. Mag schon sein.Meine "Selbstbehandlung" ging uebrigens fast schief. Aber, waere sie schief gegangen, waere sie eigentlich auch gut verlaufen. Mir ist erzaehlt worden,. This goes back a few years to when I was in what remains to this day my sole "long term" relationship with another man. Peter was approaching seventy, but the advent of Viagra had rendered him a horny b**st indeed. We would have sex of some form every morning and every night almost without fail. He had been turned into something of a randy old goat. Not that I was complaining you understand!Christmas brought the inevitable round of socializing and parties- some fun, some tedious. One of the. Eric he said, while putting his finger inside my ass. “Come see me after you’re done with him” Eric left to his room. Sam smiled and told me if this works out, this could be a regular thing. That I would belong to him and Eric and I would want for nothing. He pushed me on the couch and spread my legs. He put his dick inside me while holding my leg against his chest. He put one of his fingers in my mouth and I began to suck on it. He grabbed my other leg and pressed both of my legs against my. When we were done we watched the video Jordan took of the orgy one time, erased it, and promised never to speak of it again.Yet here it was, my shame resurfaced. And by the look in Robyn’s eyes and by what I knew about her I knew she wasn’t bluffing.Sure I could go to the police. Blackmail was a crime. They might get Robyn but would they get her in time? Before the damage could be done. I felt sure in my heart that if Dylan ever saw the tape our marriage would be over. Dylan was a prideful man..