.And I have hold of her. Her hands are tangled in my hair, pulling me close. Her mouth eager. Her tongue shy and darting. Her breath in my mouth, fill...ng my head. The hot tips of her breasts brush my chest. The smell of her like clover, like musk, like ripe apples fallen to the ground ...And there is no hesitation. No doubt. I know exactly what to do. My hands are on the back of her neck. Brushing her face. Tangled in her hair. Sliding along the smooth length of her thigh. Grabbing her hard by. When she was there, well, she could ride the four wheelers by herself now so she didn’t really have to hang on any more. She still adored big brother, but didn’t cling to us like when she was little, and she rarely called me her boyfriend anymore.[u][b]Swim Club[/b][/u]One of our other favorite summer activities, besides riding quads, was hanging out at the swim club. Ben’s family didn’t have their own pool, but belonged to a local swim club. During the summer we would spend entire days there. But sensual exploration of sexuality, loss of all thought and inhibition, losing CONTROL. Total surrender. How can one just surrender their thoughts, their senses? I go through the days of my regular life having to be serious, stay serious… stay in control of myself. Coolly dealing with the realities of life. How then do I surrender myself? The very thought of doing this awakens something in me that has lain dormant. I WANT IT! To not be bound by anything, to explore and be explored. To. We have gone from a few percent of those we needed to double and triple that -- but it's still not enough."We have decided that the observed history is such that we can afford to take a few small risks. There have been only two injuries among the exploration teams. Both accidents are of the garden variety -- one individual allowed his attention to wander as he started down a ladder. He missed a step and caught his leg in a narrow place and broke his leg. He was transported and is doing well..