. have been planning how we can do our wedding.” Jennifer’s face was beaming from ear to ear.“Uhh do I get any say in this?” I asked.“Nope, ...ust be there and say ‘I do’.” Jennifer said with a giggle. “Of course you do, silly. It’s OUR wedding and while I have some ideas on what we could do, you need to agree.”I smiled and thought to myself ‘Just say “Yes dear” to anything you’re asked’. I smiled and Jennifer wanted to know what I was smiling about. “I was thinking how nice it is to have all. I pressed my cheek to the top of her head and hugged her tighter. All the while feeling as though I had betrayed her with the lewd images flashing through my mind. I didn’t want to be the guy who only thought about her sexually. I wanted to be there for her, to comfort her, to help her through the crisis. I really did, but the warmth of her body, the silky softness of her golden hair on my hand as I stroked her back, the picture of her getting off with her vibrator, how could I not think of her. She suggested that we meet that afternoon to go over rules she was working on, and I semi-reluctantly agreed to arrive at their place at one p.m sharp.Mandy had been a lover of mine several years ago for a very short time. She had been a very active fuck, no complaints there, but wasn't the most trustworthy person I'd ever met. In no time, she was fucking several of my "friends" and saw nothing wrong with that. I bailed out and hadn't given her much more than a thought till she drove into the. I had looked forward to the dinner as a welcome distraction from my deep down thirst to be subjugated, humiliated, degraded by white men. This deep down thirst had started to surface a year ago and I had done everything possible to ignore it. I had worked three jobs, volunteered and learned how to play several musical instruments, just so I didn't act on it; Just so I didn't feel it swallowing me little by little; just so I can keep an air of respectability. I knew it would be a matter of time.