But if he were here right this instant, I had no doubt whatsoever that I would eagerly jump him and fuck his brains out. My phone beeped, a reminder t...at class was only minutes away. How long had I been lost in my wild reverie? I’d come here to try and find some balance, some way to center myself and cope with these changes, but then I had turned them into some kind of perverted masturbatory fantasy. What was wrong with me? But that was the wrong question, wasn’t it? I already knew exactly what. Dr. Upson whispered something lengthy into Janice's ear, and she grinned as she was staring at me. "Kneel down here and do what your wife tells you." he said in a clear, almost giddy tone. The words again hit me like a new life direction. As if the biggest mystery had just been solved, I simply needed to kneel down beside my wife and obey her instructions. I obeyed, and Janice looked into my eyes. "Get naked." Janice commanded. I did as she said, clumsily clambering out of my shoes, pants,. Danielle's shorts would simply explode if she tried to get them on. Maybe she could take a towel downstairs with her. Yes, that would do. A big towel from the bathroom."Find it?" What?" Your coat." Oh." She'd completely forgotten about that. "I couldn't find it." Have a drink, anyway. It will be up there somewhere." He fished a can of beer out of the ice box and handed it to her. "Sit down, girl. I'm not going to eat you!" Thanks, Mr ... Ray." Shielding herself strategically with the towel, she. We'll have plenty of nights together before we gohome. Do you understand?"Actually, I didn't understand. I didn't understand at all. But Imeekly replied, "Sure. I understand. Goodnight honey." I kissed heron the cheek, walked dejectedly into my room, and closed the doorbehind me. I'd never felt so alone as I did at that moment. I wasgrowing used to most of the changes I'd been going through. And Iliked my feminine side. But I did not want to lose my wife. I went tomy window and looked out at.