“No! I need my boy clothes back first!” I snapped back.“Look, girly boy, the way I see it, you’re in no position to get lippy with me. If yo... want that nail polish remover, you’re going to get in the car the way you are and you’re going to go into the store, not me. Understand?” asked Benny.Fuck me, I thought. I could either be embarrassed by the way I was dressed and get the nail polish myself or get caught being my brother’s cross-dressing sissy by my wife. I chose the lesser of the two. As we walked I followed him off the main path into the bushes, which were well over our heads. He seemed to know where he was going.We reached a little bit of clearing. He stopped and turned to face me – and I admit I was still clueless as what was happening. Then he reached out and started rubbing the front of my blue jeans."You want me suck you?” I clearly remember his ungrammatical question.I started babbling some excuse about needing to meet friends in Golden Gate Park and ran out of there,. I’m ... sorry, okay? I really am. I shouldn’t have done that, I guess. But Mom does that to Daddy, so do a lot of my girlfriends, so I just assumed that it was something that women did, that society was okay with it. The judge backed me up on that, as did my lawyer, even YOUR lawyer seemed to treat it as normal and get embarrassed that you insisted on the countersuit on those grounds. But, for what it’s worth ... I ... I really am sorry. For that ... and for divorcing you ... and... , “ Katie. “You’re so…perfect…I…” My voice faltered. My back was still turned to her, but I could hear her stepping closer. My words continued; I couldn’t stop now, “I want to give you everything Julia. I know I can. Some nights I can't bear it anymore. I need you so badly. But I also know that you don’t… love me so I…I just…” I couldn’t speak anymore; I was choking on my own tears. I felt her hand upon my arm. Suddenly, she spun me around and in one fluid motion pinned me against the wall. Time seemed to.