Recently, I decided to publish my journals. I am not a writer and when Iset down the accounts of my ordeals, I often wrote in a form one might describ...as 'streams of consciousness'. At other times I employed personal shorthand.In order that my experiences and feelings be presented in a more readable manner,I sent my journal to the author to be presented in whatever form he chose withthe proviso that both I and Sir remain anonymous. All too soon after my relationship with Sir began, I was. That same red that you were picturing on the woman's lips. "What the fuck is going on?" Uh, you alright in there honey?" you hear a lady say from close by. "Honey, are you alright?" she repeats as you can't find any word to reply."Um, yeah. I'm alright." First time on the island isn't it?" I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm not really in a good spot to have a full conversation right now." Oh honey, bless your heart. I'll just say that when things happen while you're here is best to just go with it and. Just IV fluids and broth don't cut it for energy to walk around. My muscles didn't feel weak so much as I just didn't have the energy to make them move. She did her best though. In the end she was pretty much dragging my sweat soaked body down the hall to dump me back into the chair before she vanished out the door again.I was about asleep when she came back in, closed the door and flipped the lock on it."Now look Mr. Johnson, there aren't but one way I know to do this and don't go looking like. They were so dark." He was a little depressed!" Dana was outraged."It was a dark depression. And the dr... drinking. I learned that he hurt so bad that he needed to hurt even more."Ray stood there quietly listening. He wasn't sure what else to do."So he was a lush on top of it all?" When did you become perfect? He had the darkest depression that I have ever seen anyone have," Janet said sharply."I can't understand Mom. I am trying to understand. It sounds like excuses." Dana just listen. Stop.