It wasnt until a year later that I met up with Ray with the big cock at a cricket match and we got talking about girls and celebs we fancied and he to...d me he had access to some Penthouse and Playboy magazines at his house and would I like to look at them with him. Well his house was on my way home and that afternoon off we went. I was very excited about seeing them. No one was in when we got there and we went straight to us own bedroom and he pulled up a loose floorboard and lifted out some of. You've been so good to us over this, and then I threw your feelings back in your face, without even thinking about how that must have made you feel. Now you're bringing Rebecca over to Sweden, and I've seen you with Colleen. You thrive on physical and emotional love."Does it make you mad that I'm not in love with you, Brian? I tried to be. I really, REALLY did. It makes me feel so inadequate to sit here, while you go through your list of how you're helping us, and know that other than a little. I'm dead. I'm dead," he muttered as he retrieved the cards and tried to summon up the courage to face the music. He picked up the phone, even his anxious state not enough to keep him from remembering the bargain that would put him behind the wheel of his dream car.The walk down the stairs and out of the house felt as though it took forever, but the walk down the sidewalk toward his neighbor's front door almost seemed as though it happened in slow motion. He could almost hear someone standing. The next thing, that I was aware of, was Suenee shaking my shoulder again."You must get up and wash," she insisted. She had already washed and had a small wet towel in her hand. When I got out of the bed, she wiped me down with it and then rinsed it out in a pail of water in the corner. Then she returned and wiped me off all over. It was refreshing but the water as still cold.I was getting dressed when Sawyer banged on the wall."You up, Baker?" he asked in his usual bellow."Yes," I answered,.