" Ricky repeats as I wake up with a start.After washing (and taking care not to mess up my new nails), I dressfor the day in black tights, a knee-leng...h denim skirt and a glitterypink sweater. Feeling extra defiant, I apply a little mascara beforeheading downstairs to breakfast where, as before, Ricky simply staresat me as I eat."So," mum announces, trying to break the tension. "What have you gotplanned for today, Ricky?" I just thought I'd hang out at home with my little brother," Rickysays. I know knew. What was even stranger was that he was like me. I suspected there were at least two generations between my grandfather and this lad.With my grandmother and his great-grandmother mother being different women then we were barely third cousins. According to our laws, he was mine. I couldn’t help myself, and I leant in and kissed his soft lips. His hand wrapped around the back of my head and I was being thoroughly kissed in return.I finally pulled back and looked at the woman that was. Thankfully by the time we got to the door I was getting more and more used to it and able to compose myself. I resumed swaying my hips on the way out the door and to his car, opening my door and ushering me in. We drove the 30 minutes and stopped in front of the local mall. My nerves were starting to act up again as we stopped and parked, Henry getting out and coming around to open my door. Just seeing his smile and taking his hand calmed me down and made me feel so safe that I wasn’t bothered. Cath was rubbing against Mark, feeling him up as she often did in front of me when she was a bit tipsy. Teasing him, and, now I realised, me? Mark looked up from their very hot kiss, straight into my eyes. “Come here Carrie, your turn,” he quipped. He could have been teasing, just including me in the moment, but deep down I knew he wasn’t. Cath turned to me too and held out her hand as well. Without a word I joined them. It wasn’t Mark who kissed me first, it was Cath. Her skin was softer than.