“Well when things were going downhill for us,” she continued on with her story. “I started looking up things online about how to spice things up...in the bedroom.” “Like rough sex or something?” I asked, really out of my league. “Or something,” she laughed. I sat back against my seat and waited for her to tell me more. She continued on about how she had found this website on BDSM and took some notes from it. She said that now when things start to go downhill for them, she takes control of the. .my darling, kaisi ho.” Kehte maine usko bahon main bhar liya. Usko kuchh ajnabi nahin laga, kyon ki yehi dastur unke yahan chalta tha.“ Main thik hun, aap kaise ho, masaji.” Usne meri bahon main se bahar aate hue puchha.“Main thik hun, Ghar per sabhi kaise hai.” Maine uski beg mere sath lete hue kaha.“Sabhi achche hai aur app sab ko yaad karte hai.”Humne S.T. Stand se bahar aa kar riksha pakd li aur Paldi ki aur riksha leneko kaha.Hamari bus wahin se chalti hai.Hum, karib 15 minute main Paldi. I go to Paul’s flat and knock on the door, there’s no answer but I can hear music inside so he must be in, I knock again, still nothing so I try the doorknob and it opens. When I get inside I see Paul sitting on his sofa, a bottle of Jack Daniels stands on the coffee table and he’s draining what’s left in his glass. ‘Paul, are you alright?’ ‘Nope.’ ‘Are you drunk?’ ‘Yep.’ ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘Finchley Road Apartment 12.’ Oh shit that’s Tom’s address. ‘Paul, do you want to tell me what’s going on?’. You will need to be punished.”I certainly didn’t deny my enjoyment, nor did I want to. I got the wild idea that if I received punishment, maybe then it would be okay to feel pleasure from whatever I was being punished for. Wanting very much to get rid of the impending guilt at any cost, I acquiesced, hoping for, at a minimum, a blessed release. I hoped that somehow through punishment I was going to find a way for me to enjoy my lustful thoughts and feelings.In that moment, the oldster did.