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Nobody he knew had gotten hurt. All of the damage was monetary, and money is replaceable. Though he felt helpless to make amends, there really weren't...any amends to be made. At the end of the year, he really COULD go back to his old life, pick up where he left off, and just be a little wiser, a little more careful, and a little more abstinent from alcohol, the way he'd refused to drink at last night's party.But not me. My actions had HURT. My actions had torn apart a relationship.I thought back. Calling Jill would have made me equally, or maybe even happier. But that call would have been a mix of pleasure at hearing her voice and pain that she’d not yet done what I’d asked and started making some of the hard choices necessary to repair our marriage. Also, I reckoned that if I called Jill, she’d see it as a sign of weakness and a sign that despite everything I’d said I might be okay to let her keep up with her current lifestyle. Knowing this, of course, provided me the perfect incentive. Margaret found me bawling my eyes out on the sofa, hugging the card to my chest, not letting her have it back even when she snapped at me. I had resisted her before, but with full knowledge of the consequences. This time I wasn't conscious of what I was doing. Pain filled my heart with such depth and concentration I could hardly breathe.Margaret quickly realised that I was in a similar dark place to where I had been after my morphine binge. Never one to be ready with easy sympathy or affection,. "Gene Mallet?" she asked. "The executive director of SES? That Gene Mallet?"MacPherson nodded. "Aye. Can ye noo un'erstan' why i' was sae easy forr me t'believe wha' I was tol'?" Angus, that doesn't make sense," she protested. "Once we got them on board SES was with us all the way. I mean, they built this ship for us. Why would they do that if—" Wait a minute, Grandmother," Igwanda cut in. "Maybe it does make sense, if Mallet was acting alone. Remember all the delays in the Ark's construction?.