Why doesn’t she understand that my heart is in her hands, for I’m hers for the taking, that I’m ripe and ready to be harvested? Why does she pla... with my heart, doesn’t she understand that even when she’s next to me that’s still too far away? I have to face the reality that she doesn’t want to be MINE, that I’ll never be more then comfort food to her and that you cannot mold someone into what you wish them to be. While I’ll do anything for her love, I need a sign, a jesture that we’re a team,. I was feeling a power within me I had not known before and could not even have guessed about but there was no doubting it. I could play this any way I wanted but I wanted to be submissive this time. I wanted to be taken. I was ready to be taken.Steve lay down on the carpet and looked up at me. The cheeky so and so was looking up my skirt! And what is more, he was playing with himself! With one hand he stroked and massaged his erection the other he reached out to me, so standing astride his head. I'd never even kissed another man before, but I've always thought about what it would feel like to have a dick in my mouth. So I told her, yeah, I'm into it. I told her I'd done it all before. I lied."Have you found another guy?" I asked her.It was a few days before she responded to me: "Yes."She put me in contact with Rico."Have you done this before?" he asked me on the phone. I was touching myself. I told him the truth.We agreed to meet the following week in a hotel room a half an hour. "Marilyn paused for a breath as a far away look filled her face for a moment. She seemed to be thinking of someplace, or someone else."Then one day my world seemed to come crashing down. I had a friend, an associate actually. No, make that a friend, she deserves to be remembered that way. Anyway, one day the pressure got to be too much and she stepped in front of a cross-town bus. I've never been able to decide if she was just too tired or preoccupied to know what she was doing, or if she just.