One that sets me to laughing. I pick up my pen, dip the quill and begin to write. ‘So, you plebeians want something to do with Valentines Day? Alrig...t. The year the strange flowers bloomed at the Palace of Versailles will do.’ The royal gardener protested like a fish wife as I went through cutting his precious blooms. You might would have though I was cutting his testicles free for all his howling. But, I had a King’s writ in my doublet giving me permission to do with the exotic plants in the. After twenty years working my way up the ladder I was appointed professor, a post I held until my retirement half a decade ago at the age of sixty-two. **Jacqueline and I did not become lovers that evening, even though she admitted that her marriage still remained unconsummated after more than five years. Her elderly husband was uninterested in sex, or more probably, he was impotent. He was a widower with grown-up children, and I surmised, correctly it turned out, that all that he wanted was a. She says I try to hard to fuck her and that turns her off. But I went six months without trying last year....subject never came up. Its like Susan just doesn't have a sex drive.A few weeks ago I got spam email for something called the 'Splitter'. Normally I would have deleted it, but I was desperate. The attached video never explained what the product was, just that it was designed to kick-start the sex drive of married couples who has 'lost that spark'. When I showed it to Susan she said it. Suddenly, I was alone.Alone in this big house ... All by myself!Actually, I had an older sister who lives in the same town, only 35 minutes away.Alone in the four-bedroom home I sometimes find myself rattling around the place.I'm 19, and my name is Robert. My sister lives on the other side of town ... her name is Sarah.She's not married or anything. She just lives right by the college she's been attending for what seems like 10 years now.She's only 23, so I guess it's been five years.And now.