What...we did smoke a joint" I said as Brad held me down."No, we just got high on some pot, but I asked you if you'd like to smoke a joint...didn't yo... say you've smoked joints before?" His words were just playing with me."Well, I didn't understand it to mean anything other than smoking some pot, so as far as I concerned that's what I did; smoke a joint." I said this knowing that even if I had a valid argument, I still didn't have a valid argument with him."Well, here's what your neighbor told. " He picked up a Milky Way bar and tore off the wrapper. "You know we'll have to go upstairs and work off the calories."Noah lay in his bed. Rachel stepped into the bedroom, removed her bathrobe and hung it on a hook on the back of the door. "I called Mom and told her we'd come for Christmas," he said. "She's really juiced for it."Rachel stood sideways to Noah and ran her hands along her abdomen. "I'm not huge -- I'm frickin' huge. I can't believe how big my belly is." You have, what? Nine. “I want you to take in as much as you can.”I knew the act having done it with her and the sisters constantly before. My head hurt, ached awful, sharp bright lights, but she seemed insistent and dead serious about me sucking her breast. So I did, like a baby. The nectar in her breasts was not new to me. But now Loon wanted me to partake for another reason and she said, “This is actually healing for you and I both, now in a very powerful way. This is exactly the moment that we have needed. Suck!. All my life I had been Michael, why should that change now?I was having some serious identity problems. I started to think about what makes a person who they are. I mean, if someone is just pretending to be someone that they really aren't, but they don't know that they are only pretending, who are they? I decided in the end that no matter what happened, I would always be Michael inside, and I would always be a Penning. For all intents and purposes, my parents were exactly who they said they.