I drove as pain started to get worse. I though aboutthe passages that I read and asked the nurse more about the forgiveness thatthe bible told about. ...fter driving a few miles we all heard the thunderingsound of two explosions that I had no doubt came from my house. I continuedto drive even as emergency vehicles drove past me, and I finally reached theplace I wanted to go to. The van slowly moved to the furthest road where Istopped near the gravestone of my wife. The pain was almost unbearable. I dated older guys, but Jason had his own home and it wasn’t just any home.I wouldn’t call it a mansion, but it was a lot of house for one person to live in, complete with a pool. We started in the kitchen with wine and I couldn’t stop imagining him bending me over the granite counters. He gave me a tour of the house that ended halfway through.I ended the tour when I took his hand and led him to the bedroom. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t do it because of the concert tickets or his. I hopedMom wouldn't be disappointed that I'd bought them.It was after nine and I told Mom I was going over to Sam's for a bit.She told me to go ahead, but just to remember I had to work in themorning. I hadn't touched my face since we went to Aunt Vivian's. Ihoped that I looked OK.Sam came running to the door when I knocked as if he'd been expectingme. He gave me a quick hug and suggested we go for a walk. "I got a really strange phone call today, Joan." I found myselfwondering what constituted. Joey appeared, not realizing that he wasstill holding a big yellow sponge in one hand and a bottle of cleaningliquid in the other. Ken grinned at him and said, "Hello, Jolene." Joeyfelt his face grow flushed. This was the most humiliated he had feltsince all this began.Deena said, as if talking to a slow learner, "Put your cleaning thingsback in the bathroom, wash your hands, and come to the den." When he gotthere Ken was looking relaxed, sitting on the leather recliner that hadalways been.