You idiot. You idiot. You idiot..." No," the actual director spoke up, "I think we've see enough."John reached the table, a child in a pretty dress an... a pretty face."Please," he whispered, his back to Ed, "you've come all this way.He's really, really good. He's just inexperienced. Let me read thesame scene with him. You'll love him. I promise."They all exchanged glances before shrugging and nodding. 'Why not?'seemed to be the final decision.John thanked Sven as he took the pages from him. He. I imagined it to be my lover who was asking for sexual love, so I took him in my hand and started to pleasure him, stooping forward and kissing him on his bulbous head, my tongue tip, brushing the warm steel as if I were performing the ultimate female act of felacio. I stood up having decided to surrender my virginity to my imaginary lover and removed my shorts, but stopped short at removing my knickers, though the thought of doing so drove my imagination making my knees feel weak, and as I sat. "How? I threw away a career and a good life... What's here for me?"She looked taken aback further as more tears fell silently down my face."Me?" she said softly.I looked at her and noticed her own tears. She reached tentatively forme and sat me into her lap gently facing her."Look Ho... Nick..." She paused. "I'm sorry that this has been the dayit has. I was hoping we'd be able to go through and have a few daysbefore the realities of this world came crashing down on you..."I grimaced and shook. Honesty is the best policy, right? The look on Cindy’s face after I was finished talking made a chill go up my spine. It was a mixture if interest and disgust. I asked her to not tell Brenda until at least after I broke up with her later that day. Cindy promised she wouldn’t tell Brenda what I had told her, but when it came to having sex with her I should not hold my breath. Knowing that Cindy was a lost cause. I started to think that I could tell Andrea that I slept with Cindy and Andrea.