Especially after the incident I'm about to tell you.It was a Tuesday afternoon and I'd been home from school for about a half hour. I'd changed into c...mfy clothes (after running to take a pee, its the second thing I do when I get home) and had come downstairs. I was passing by the dining room, when I noticed Matt sitting in front of the computer (yeah, Mom has it in the dining room, don't ask me why) and his arm is moving in a way highly suggestive of jacking-off.Now, I've never seen a guy. The twenty-fifth.’ Martin’s heart skipped a beat and his eyes felt wet. ‘Honey, I…I love you,’ he said, ‘that’s really nice.’ June twenty-fifth was the day he’d married Marie, Melissa’s mother. ‘I figured it turned out pretty well for you and Mom,’ Melissa said, ‘so it ought to be a lucky day for Bill and me, too.’ ‘Honey, I love you,’ Martin said. ‘And I’m really happy for you.’ ‘I love you, too, Dad,’ Melissa said. ‘Look, I gotta go. You coming up Saturday for dinner like always?’ ‘Of. Can you give me 10 minutes?" Sure," I said. After he left, I turned to Edith. "He wants to take mehome." I know," she said. "I think you should go with him." But I've never ... done that," I said."You think being a girl is just about wearing dresses and makeup? Youwant to be a female, right? You told me so yourself." Yes, I think so." Part of being a woman is learning to attract and please a man. How areyou ever going to be fully female if you don't fully explore this sideof your desires?" she. If I try to reach out and touch her arm, she'll cringe and move away.So, you ask, why haven't I gone somewhere else to get some nookie? To tell you the truth, I ask myself that question all the time, and I don't know the answer. Call it an overdose of commitment, or maybe a fear that anybody else I turned to would be as repelled as June is, or maybe I'm just afraid of hurting June. Whatever the reason is, I've been faithful all this time, unless you count the nearly daily fantasies I have as I.