Helpline here ... What’s theproblem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stungon her thigh by a hornet and now ...er vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway,. "Taylor left for London two days later. Both father and wife stood at the airport and watched as his plane took off. The ride home was quiet, and after Jake dropped Shannon off at her house, he went to a bar and had a few drinks. The next day, she was sitting in his living room. It was a strange scene, daughter-n-law and father-in-law sitting in a quiet house. Both were almost afraid to break the silence.Shannon got up and walked to the kitchen. She came back with two drinks in her hands.. Natalie had been the quiet one at school but had unexpectedly made a great friend to Mia. A few months on and the annual visit to the museum was upon them and after getting lost in one dark corner, away from bored and strict eyes of their fellow peers and teachers, Mia and Natalie shared a precious yet unexpected kiss which, over the following year, behind closed doors, became more of an exploration of the same sex hidden by thin layers of clothing. But sex was a hushed topic and only the. I worked my ass off so she could have everything she wanted, nice cloths, her own car and a nice house for us to live in. I was very involved in Beth’s life, knowing who her friends were, who her friend’s parents were and her teachers. Beth was in my eyes a perfect angel. She was on the cheerleading squad and made good grades. I would always go to see her perform for what ever sport she was cheering for at the time. I tried my best to stay out of her personal life, trusting her to make good.