I'd be happy to get you ready.No, no, I don't think you understand. It's a business meeting to discuss the job I took. You know, wages, benefits that ...ort of thing.Benefits, I bet she teasingly responds.Somewhat embarrassed I say in an angry voice. Never mind, I'll get ready myself.Lisa starts to laugh as she says I'm only kidding with you. Relax!!!A tear escapes and falls to the table.Jill, are you okay? Lisa puts her hands on my shoulders.I start to cry and hug her tight.It's okay Jill. I'm. She knew her screwed up childhood lent to most of these insecurities but she also knew some was part of her makeup, an innate quality. She needed that one person to uncover and dig out her submissive, hold her hand and show her the way, help her enjoy it. Someone she could let go with, completely give herself to, free herself, allow herself to just…be. She also knew that she did not give to just anyone, very rarely actually. She was meant to control to a certain degree, to lead, as that was. Eric had money and enjoyed spending it on her,spoiling her, having fun with her. But all of that was before he losthis job to what he called "gender politics"."It's Eric is all," Julia said.Samantha frowned."He's still out of work," Julia said, pursing her lips in frustration."It's been over a year and a half now. He's having a really hard timegetting a job," she added."What's that got to do with you?" Samantha asked peering at Juliaintently. "If anything, he should be thrilled that more money. .. Why do you say that?" You just don't know me," he replied as he deliberated on what he should tell her. He could see that she was feeling the drinks, as he was also, and he wondered if this nun might be like Sister Susan. "I have taken advantage of my position, Ursula. In very sinful ways. I pray that God understands that he demands too much of us when he calls for ... you know? There is a strong movement for a married clergy, Ursula." His statement sent a jolt through the virgin nun. This.