Thank you very much. I am very pleased to welcome our guests to GabFest's stage this afternoon, Miss Diane Walker and her mother, Katherine..."And it ...s SHOWTIME! The stage manager had shit a brick when I emerged from the green room stripped naked, but he didn't hesitate to give me a nudge in the small of my back at the introduction. I wouldn't have minded a pat on my butt, either, of course." ... As you probably already know -- whoops... !"I emerged from the wings to strut my stuff -- all of. .. my beautiful mom, the bearer of my secrets and the giver of my life ... my mentor ... but YOU made me do it! I'll never forgive you."The door opened behind me. I didn't need to look, I knew who it was. I put out my hand and the paper was placed in my hand. I brought it to my sight.Fifty lines, 'I will not sass the teacher, as she is quick of temper and may inflict great bodily harm upon my fundament, ' in her own blood. Fifty times.At the very bottom, mother wrote, 'Miss Austin: I am. The View. Men are visual creatures. They want to see their partner, to see what is going on. Low light to accompany a tryst is much more preferable to lights out.’ ‘5. Dance for him. A slow, seductive strip tease is a far better turn on than just shedding clothes in the normal way and hopping onto the bed. A strip tease, combined with some seductive talk is instant boner material. Become a master at lap dancing. This can result in a man begging for sexual relief, or creamed jeans. As an. You know you want to. Or, grow yourself a moustache. All the bestest, mostest virile, super-hunks of all time have sported resplendent examples of facial hair on their upper lip. Think Adolf, or Josef, or Fidel, or Mouammar, or Saddam, or Vladamir or Che or Osama; all moustachioed super-hunks. Grow yourself a handlebar, a horseshoe, a chevron and in no time at all her perky cheerleaderness will dissolve into a pool of gooey cunt-juiced expectation and will be flicking up her skirting and ogling.