It willbe fun. Alex, I will see when we can go in to see Pao while you getJamie ready."Alex grabbed my hand and dragged me through to the bedroom wher... sherummaged through my bag from Bangkok. I still had some of the clotheswhich Nin had bought on Kritsada's account."Mm, Nin has good taste. Come on get undressed and put these on." Alexthrew me a pair of silk Victoria Secret's panties. I hesitated for amoment with the panties in my hand and got a slap on the bum from Alex."Come on, we haven't. They shake hands and embrace, a little awkwardly, the way boys and men do. I greet José Luis with a hug as well and he responds with enthusiasm. He’s more formal with Mom and Dad.Just before our final good-byes, Mom and Dad lead us over to a bench under some trees beside the parking lot next to Julian’s dormitory. They sandwich us, Mom on one side, Dad on the other, and I know what is coming. I’m right.“We know you are special to each other, Julian, Harper,” Mom’s voice is soft, not quite a. And I want to look atmake-up. God, Ellie, I'm so excited." I can see that." I don't know what to do!"Lucy had a concerned look in her face"Lucy, don't worry, It'll be fine and you will have lots of fun. Andit's normal to be nervous before a date. You like him. You've been ondates before. You can do that."But I've never dated a guy." Well, just be you. This time it won't feel all wrong for you. You'rethe girl this time." You're right. I don't have to pretend anything. I'm the girl. I'mme.."Lucy. We haven’t talked about it. I’d probably die of embarrassment if she tried!“I don’t know what her fantasies are. I know she has the books and I know she reads them because when I get one out to read they’re always moved around in her drawer and in a different order. I know they’re in the drawer with her vibrators so she probably masturbates when she’s reading them.“That thought creeped me out at first, the idea that my mother actually masturbates! But I suppose it’s what she has to do. As far.