"I guess it was because every time I did I suddenly didn't want to." Then I paused trying to put my thoughts together. "I think it was also because th... fantasy was of being dominated and humiliated a little. I wasn't getting that feeling. I wanted that sense of being owned and punished."She chuckled a little and then didn't say anything more. Fortunately we were at the movie theatre and I didn't have to worry about the conversation going any further.When we got home I jumped in the shower as I. ” He dropped his hands to his sides and finally looked at me.“I can’t live here, I can’t be who I am here. I can’t be with who I want to be here.”“What? You want to be with Mr Wilson?” I asked incredulously.“No.” He stammered and went red. “That's not what I want."“Well I was a bit surprised about you and Wilson yesterday. I never realised.”I stared at the boy I’d known my whole life and felt something stirring inside me. Without thinking, my body took over, I stepped across the room as if I. I went upstairs and looked around. No girl to be found. "I don't getit," I said softly."You okay, man?" Jessie asked genuinely concerned."Yeah, sorry," I muttered.As I went downstairs and exited, I could see the girl walking towardsmy house and then suddenly disappearing inside. "Holy shit," Irealized.I raced inside the house and searched every room. There was no sign ofthe girl anywhere. "She's like a ghost."***As prom approached, neither of us had a date despite Jessie's mysterywoman. I. The whole affair, from Tomlinson’s queer awakening to Misha Podgolskiv’s equally perturbing revelation about the ‘woman in chains’ had been profoundly unsettling to Balinski. That she had been Leonard Berensen’s confidante and off-and-on lover for twenty years had only served to confuse her more. Who was this woman? What did she want? More importantly, just what the hell was she? What had happened to her? Nothing made sense, least of all Leonard’s role in all this. She looked at Misha doing his.